If you had a biggest and best question, the first thing I’d do is tell you to let go with all your Type-A reservations and just ask them… are the first that come to mind questions about our philosophy? I can’t blame you, those are the best questions by any measure.

Our philosophy is that kids need boundaries in order to learn. Some kid camps use rules and language, but this can be confusing, especially for kids with any of the many problems stemming from the tricky place of concentration.

We have found the only effective boundaries with attention challenged youngsters are literal ones, so we keep a clearly defined line around their enclosures, and strictly enforce them. This may include the fun-barb you may notice lining our perimeter, or the not-so-deep moat filled with noxious oil we use as a camp boundary just beyond the razor wire. Whatever it is, we know it works, and our track record would likely speak for itself in kind if we were ever legally obligated to release it.

You have a precious child with concentration problems (such as ADD or ADHD) and we’ve got proven*, effective methods to combat them. When it comes to helping kids concentrate, we’re Nazis!

Your family needs to be cleansed.

Many children dislike taking medication, so rather than force injections or pills, we administer any medications we can with respirators cleverly installed in our showers. We make taking medicine fun! All your junior has to do to get his day’s worth of Respiritol is take a quick stroll into our communal bathing showers, scrub his nethers, pass out on the floor, and wake up wondering why his asthma is under control and his head is a tad bit bandaged. Everybody wins!

While we can’t tell you all of our treatment philosophies, due to anti-competition and litigation grounds, we can tell you that everything we do has either a proven history of effectiveness, or an effective history at our own camp we’re currently in court defending for efficaciousness.

* Our methods have not been proven by any measurable standard, and have not been recognized by any body of any sort, local, national, international, hypothetical or otherwise.